About a year after Isaac died - a year that I struggled with my sorrow, my anger, and the never-ending questions, about why this had happened. ( When I realised I was pregnant, I had promised to God - who I wasnt even sure I believed in - that I would get my life together, and be a good mother, if He would only keep this child safe. But my baby was taken away from me anyway, so what was the use in trying to be good, I wondered? ) - after a year of this, during (yet another!) dark and bitter experience, I suddenly understood that God had taken him away BECAUSE HE LOVED ME. And BECAUSE HE LOVED MY SON.
God took him away because He knew what my future held, knew what I was going to have to face.
And because He had a different plan for me.
When I saw all this clearly, despite my personal life being in utter chaos and confusion at the time, I knew that God surely did exist, and that He LOVED me, despite all of my mistakes, and all of my disbelieving.
And this was the very first step, in a long, long journey, back to God.
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Thanks for sharing :)
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